the first friday in november, i received my cancer diagnosis.
it’s one year later, cancer free.
the california buckeyes fall from their pods this time of year,
opening and dropping their fruit.
i carried a small chestnut buckeye in my pocket,
rubbing one sharp corner, believing i was shrinking my tumor away from my chest wall.
last month, unseasonal rains unexpectedly brought me to find this buckeye in the pocket of a fall jacket.
it was smooth and unwrinkled with a warmly oiled patina.
i compared it with one sitting out on the credenza, sucked in, shriveled up and wrinkled.
i love fall, i’m collecting buckeyes again, wrapping them in soft cloths and letting them hibernate through winter.
in the spring, i’ll have warm chestnut buckeyes to remind me,
nestle, nurture & believe.